Nothing more than expected

You could be Someone. Right now, you're someone I know, but don't know. I know what you tell me, I don't ask questions, you don't expect me to. It's not that I'm not interested. I just don't like to pry. If someone wants to tell me things, to draw me in, it's up to them to do it. I don't know if you'll ever be Someone. I don't know if you want to be. I don't know if I want you to be. There's a game being played and I can't tell who the player is, who the pawn is. If both are both. I don't know what the prize to be won at the end of the game is, and I don't know if I want to win it. I don't know how to play.

Can you tell me the rules?

Feathers in the air

I want to cage you. To have you as mine, to protect you from the world. To show you off, but rarely let you fly. To keep you close. I'd keep the key to your cage in a pocket of my heart, always with me, never lost, never lent. I'd take care of you, give you what you need, what you want, as well as I possibly could. But would that be enough? I fear not. I fear that no matter how happy I'd try to make you, however devoted I would be, however besotted, I'd be destined to fail.

You're not mine to cage. You're not mine to trap, to admire and hide as I please. You are like a wild bird, destined to fly, to share yourself with the world, to be free. Not imprisoned, by cage or by heart. To cage you, would be wrong.

But I'll keep the cage door open, just in case. Just in case.

Broken hearts and painted faces

He would have loved me. That's not vanity, it's fact, pure and simple. I don't know what quality he saw in me, but it was there, for him. He revelled in it, shared it, took joy from it. I did, too, at first. At first. My smiles in the beginning were genuine, unforced, and hard to shake from my face. People noticed, commented, were happy for me.

But smiles fade. Mine did. His didn't. His grew, while mine turned from smile to wince. The attention that was once so craved, so wished for, soon became a hassle, an annoyance. Almost like a small puppy that at first is so adorable, soon becomes tiresome in it's constant presence. I continued in the pretence, tried to convince myself that it was natural to feel this way, a new person threatening to take your independence, to take part of you for themselves, it's normal to feel a resistance to it. Lying to myself, and him.

So I had to set him free. Create some distance. Hurt him to save him from being hurt. His only crime? He wasn't you.

Pennies in a wishing well..

I'm the person you pass on the street. The person in your home, in your bed. A random aquaintence or a best friend. Your sister, your daughter, your niece. I'm the person you think you know, but have no real knowledge of. I'm the person you desire, who you crave, who you discard. Quite simply, I am me.

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