Freefall

It's almost too easy. Something has to go wrong, because there's no way it could possibly go so right for any length of time. You're turning into more than I thought you ever would, than I ever contemplated possible. Unknowingly, I let you under my skin, and you seem comfortable, happy to stay there. You've been able to do what nobody has done before, and that scares me in the most exhilirating of ways.

I'm throwing myself in at the deep end here. I don't know how to swim, I just hope I don't sink.

Turning point

I realise now that I was fooling myself. I never wanted you. I wanted to think I did, because it stopped me feeling so empty. You would have been bad for me though, I would have been bad for you. Your feelings were bordering on obsession, mine on apathy. Wrong from the start. Unhealthy. But I wish you well, and I want nothing but the best for you. I'm in a better place now. I'm starting to see myself with new eyes. You didn't do that for me, I didn't do it for myself, an outside force is to thank for this turnaround.

Regardless of the source, which may be fleeting, the future is never stable..regardless, this may be the turning point. A new me.

Two faces of the same old coin

I don't like who you become when he's here. You're not the person I've known forever. You're smug. Selfish. Aloof. Judgemental. He's nothing special you know. He lies too. He's dishonest. You know this and it makes you overly defensive and protective. I can't understand it.

But I'll sit in silence until it passes, I'll get rid of your tear-stained tissues when he leaves. Again.

This world is harsh and cold

Call me names? Accuse me of being something that I'm not? That says far more about you than me. The quality that you saw in me is still there, it's just not directed at you anymore. That's not just my fault. You wanted to smother me, make me yours and keep me in a box, but I fought back. And that's what pissed you off. That's what you can't handle.

Would you have rathered lies? Pretended to have feelings that weren't really there? Then I would deserve the names you call me, the accusations you throw at me. But go ahead. I can take it. I can be the bigger person, and you can be the child. I've moved on, and you're the one stuck in the past.